I SWEAR IM SO FRUSTRATED.

I don't get it,I mean really.Why do they want to go to somewhere that I won't be happy about it.

Do they want me to be the same as last year? 

Do they just want me to be misery for all of my education life?

I'm so frustrasted.

Last year, we have already agreed of me enrolling to LCB

and now they're changing their mind about it and want to put me in a government college?

No way.

I have already made up my mind about it since last year.

Why can't they just settle on what i have decided?

I don't like going to place where I would feel isolated and where I could be mixing with other students as well,I just don't want that anymore.

Even if they say it's a good thing to be mixing with them, I still feel uncomfortable.I don't usually talk to much of my classmate.I have this anti-social life in my old life in school~

I do socialized but it always leads to unpleasant way of life and awkwardness after all those.-*LONG STORY*

If only they know how was I at school or how i felt about my life there,

they don't have any idea so they have no rights to say something to me that could hurt my feelings.

right now I'am feeling so f******* frustrated that i want to f******* shout out my insides!

My life over the past 3 years was so messed up, I don't like how i have been mixed with the wrong kind of people but damn i have no choice in order not to feel so isolated and i hate it when students would call me emo.

Don't they realized I prefer being alone rather spending time with them.

ohhh writing this is making me want to explode,anytime soon.!

Additional to my frustration,are the people around the house circles ONLY. Their adding fuel to my anger,so not helpful or encouraging,UNBELIEVABLE.

Also I hate it when they promise something your looking forward to and days passed they would suddenly put you down by saying 'not this time or next time' 

* in my mind*

" But you fudging promised"

ugh,hateful.

i won't be surprised the next time i promise something and unable to fulfill it.Unfortunately,

I learned it from who did the same to me,the worse knowing who are they?

will be kept secret.

It's to shameful to spill the beans!

HOTNESS ! - MAHAL I CAN'T GET OVER THIS PICTURE.

kahit ng bubuhat ka jan ng haloblocks ang HOT IN THE SAME TIME PARANG BAD BOY.!

Ewan ko aah, i just cant stop looking at this kasing parang - DAYUUM!! parang hindi ikaw.

Shocky~ haha.

but seriously mag white ka na lang lagi at jeans tas ganyan pa hair mo lagi ! then shades!

girl's will start *drooling*

HAHA.

gumagawa ng pagseselosan eeh nuh? 

saka parang hindi ka naman ganyan ka payat ngayon, parang malaman ka pa ata nyan eeh? :\

ang payat mo now kasi eeh.

dapat eat ka pa madami pero wag naman sobrang taba aah yung may laman lang para MAKUROT KO :P

NERD KA NA CUTE ,

HOT & SEXY PA ,

O ANU YUNG PINAG SASABI MONG PANGET KA!?

ayosin mo aah!

mga INSECURITIES MO AH !!

just be yourself mahal, nothing is wrong with that.You don't need to be someone else to impress me,ikaw lang   nakakakilig at pangiti sakin ng sobrang sobra

kaya wag ka ng mag alala

kasi 

" IYO LANG AKO AT IKAW LANG AKIN "

 Diba?

it's almost like a vow tuwing sinasabi natin yan.

halos lagi ko naririnig yan sayo.

at lagi mo ko tinatanong nyan.

" If Iyo lang AKO "

malang iyong iyo na ko 

kasi masaya ako sayo at contento na :">

sayo lang naman ako nakadama ng ganito at nakaranas ng kakaibang pakiramdam kasama boyfriend.

everything were so unexpected 

which made so giddy to everything you show me.

I never actually expect anything that comes in my life

but i wasn't expecting that i'll like you a lot or even fall for you since i only know you for a month,lets say just weeks,everything went so fast that i wasn't paying attention to my feelings,

unknowingly im falling for you from the days I'm knowing you 

when we spent our time together.

I was really afraid to let anyone in

coz im not ready and afraid to get hurt and feeling played

coz Im always left confused with their feelings to me.

Im always feeling torn and made my feelings fade, 

I stop being in relationship,refusing guys who courted me.

I got too tired of figuring their feelings and getting hurt. 

I don't like the feeling that IM THE ONLY FIGURING THINGS AND MAKING THINGS WORK OUT.

Then after showing all your efforts

I step by step noticed them and actually liked it.

There are no guy's like that, well maybe to me?

or the guys that have ever courted weren't that knowledgeable about these things.

 OH BRUNEI HOW CAN YOU BE THIS LAME

BUT 

Im Thankful enough letting me meet HIM <3

Im very happy of meeting him.

Even in that short period of time 

so much things has changed.

He also help me change myself to a

matured,

honest,

affectionate person :')

I've learned quite a lot from him too from those times that 

not all guy's are the same, 

that being in a relationship what should be done- i have never really obeyed my boyfriend before only once but that douche seems to played me.
He also showed me how special I am to him which made realized that
his worthful Iam to him.

"mahal alagaan po kita kahit sabi ikaw mag aalaga sakin kasi gusto ko rin maalagaan kahit papano kasi napaibig mo ko ng ganito"

MASYADO AKO NA PAKILIG NITONG PICTURE NA TO :"""""""""""""""""""""">

I have always like a guy who plays a guitar or any instrument but I prefer guitar since I have always dream of being serenade over my window (such a dreamer)

but seriously,I used to think that it's too corny that was when i was younger, as i grow up i started to realize that being serenade actually feels great,giddy-ish.And also I'm not really into the 21'st Generations, I still prefer the 90's although I wear my clothes in a very modernly way these days and the way I mingle with my friends yet I'm not fully adapting the lifestyle these days it's too open for me.I'm just open not too much.

Anyway back to my boyfriend,I don't really know when was this taken or it happened.I know he plays since he told and also told me he quit which made me a little sad when he said it but it's ok since i knew he plays before,yet hoping he would be playing again.

We just started to know last year,December,when i got back in the Philippines.He actually added me in facebook long time ago just that I'm a snob to new people who added me SPECIALLY to those who I-DO-NOT-KNOW-YET-THEY-WONT-INTRODUCE-THEMSELVES but instead of them they will ask me for introduction.wait....

He we didnt really chat much before all I remember was he just wall me up 'Thanks for the accept' then i replied 'Welcome' end? i think that was the first?hahaha. i cant fully remember it.All i know was that we rarely chat and he mostly like my dp's .I sometimes view his profile pictures too since he does it to me and the most time i viewed his profile when he was in a relationship coz i adored him and his gf together, they were so cute together.I have always looked through their pictures.I have always adored cute couples so yeah i cant avoid looking through it.and before those,before he had a girlfriend I had a slight crush to him coz i viewed his cute dp.That was just a crush not more than I thought before,i think it was just a one day crush then no more.

I didn't expect that were going to be an item.

I never thought that I would like him this much.

I'm not really good when it comes to relationship coz I never had a real relationship,I never experience a good boyfriend that would take care of me or worry about me and do anything for me but not to the extend that would cause hard and craziness.And firstly he respected me thats why i started to like him so much 

there are so much more for me to learn about relationship even if i have some acknowledgement to these things I never thought i would be able to commit with those.

Only to him i felt save or loved so much.

I opened up again for him and tried to trust a guy again.

Being single for a year was great time for me to healed up and forget the hurt i felt from my last boyfriend.I wasn't as good as he think but i guessed it was the effect of being hurt that i have became wild and reckless with my life back then and realized it halfway that how shameful it was yet i accepted the fact that it has happened and I'm ready to change to a better me. Frankly, I thought a very funny thing to myself that i would be 'FOREVER ALONE' the affect of thinking too much that i wont be able to find someone that i would like so much and would be the same thing.The passed months before i went back to philippines i've been really not myself,i have smile on my face but upset and was quite negative with my life.-pretty stupid right?

all i wanna do is escape the madness and eagerly go back to phil's to relax my mind be away with my stressful life here in ,Brunei.

And there i am much more happy,superbly delighted and thankful with my bestfriend too.If not for her i wont be able to know him and able to see face to face.Even if he said to me not to go over his place when we were still txting each other.
There are so much things that i have fallen for you.

• YOUR SMILE
• YOUR DIMPLES
• YOUR EYES
• YOUR LASHES
• YOUR SMELL
• YOUR BACK
• YOUR COOKING
• YOUR HUGS
• YOUR MWA MWA TSUP TSUP :P
• YOUR ADAM'S APPLE
• YOUR HAIR
• YOUR EFFORT 
• YOUR ENDLESS CARING
• YOUR RESPONSIBILITY 
• YOU DO NOT HAVE VICE.
• YOUR PIGGYBACK 
• YOUR HANDS WHEN YOU HOLD MINE:">
• YOUR GIDDINESS - Except when you started destroying stuffs and hurting yourself!
• YOUR HONESTY
• YOUR KIND OF OPEN-MINDED
• YOUR PATIENTS 
• YOUR FONDNESS/AFFECTIONATE 
• YOUR LOVING
• YOUR PASSIONATE.
• YOUR INNOCENCE 
• YOUR UNIQUENESS OF WHAT LOOKING AT FIRST TO GIRLS.

DAHIL SA LAHAT NYAN NA-INLOVE AKO NG TODO SAYO,.! 

BE GOOD MAHAL.TANDAAN MO UNG BILIN KO AAH!?:">

MWAAAAAA.!:***

ILOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVEYOUUUUUUUUUUU !!! 

RYKIEL SOON FRANCIA :">

MAHAL KO :)

ANG CUTE NG NERDY BOYFRIEND KO :">

I think you were still high school here? - HAHA.

so serious at the 2nd picture? 

ayiieee.x"> ang cute!!

-kala mo may takas ka dami pa yan-

ANG CUTE NG BUHOK MO RITOO x'D

Di mo kasi inalagaan buhok mo eeh. yan tuloy parang kulot na.

tas parang gala ka pa dito eeh?

gala ka nga ba nun?

tas ng susubrero ka pala nun?

hiphop tlg ang style? haha. 

Anyway, siguro pag ganyan pading yang buhok now gugulohin ko yan lagi.Now pa nga lang eeh di ko mapigilang hawakan yung buhok mo eh.Favorite ko laging hinahawakan ang buhok.

-kakaiba nuh?-

hahaha.

ingatan mo na hair mo aah. kht gnito ka haba hair mo, i'll love it :"> 

BASTA MAAYOS!

hehe.

MAHAL I MISS KISSING YOUR ADAM'S APPLE :"""""""">

lagi ko kasi nakikita sa picture mo eeh.! 

hahahaha.!

kinikilig ako dito mag isa. 

leeeech.

NAKO PO ANG LIWANAAAGG! NASILAW AKO SA UNANG PIC AT SA HULI! ><
Swagger much? hahaha.
bilib na ko na sexy ka! lakas ng dating mo sa pix mo na yan eeh
hinalo ko na lan yung isa na cute ka.
mahal,ung first pic you seem such a good boy aah til nging gala ka tas huli BADBOY?
hahaha.kinikilig ulit ako hahaa,grbe hirap ko dito aah.ng ta-type ako ng kinikilig aah!!
kaya madami ng kakagusto at crush sayo eeh.
leeech.
kasama na ata ako sa mga babae na un???!
hindi na ko unique~ :|
oiii.~
magagalit na yan.
hindi,ako na ung pinaka iba na nagkagusto sayo.
kasi pinapahalagaan kita at hindi ako nanlalaro
o dahil nag kagusto lang sa itchura mo.
MARAMI AKO NALAMAN AT NA GUSTOHAN PA SAYO.
HINDI KO NGA NA PANSIN NA GANYAN KA SWAAAG O KAHANGIN EEH. HAHAHA, :P
BASTA NAGKAGUSTO AKO SAYO DAHIL SA MGA GINAWA MONG EFFORTS.:">
AT SA SOBRAA PAKILIG MO.!

ILOVEYOUUUUU :">

MWAAAA :****

Photo taken in the Philippines :)

The photo was taken at January 4,2012
I was feeling the lingerie i ordered from my aunt :)
It felt so good and sexy ,well I have always want that feeling,
THE CONFIDENCE.
but still SOMEONE is giving me another confidence in me .
Oh by the way Im such a VAIN PERSON  or a CAMWHORE - HAHA.
because I just woke up when I took my photos, I didn't even bother how I'm going to look just because Im wearing my new bought lingerie and how well my hair was that it didn't even got messed up while I was sleeping. I have so much appreciation with my looks that day.
ANYWAAAAAAY,
This was during our stay well not the first day because the our house was still under construction when we arrived at December 11, 2011 . We arrived at cebu pacific airport at 4am and waited for 30 mins for my uncle and auntie to come pick us up then a little more later they have arrived. On the way back home my uncle's car tire flatten so we have to park at the roadside to be able to change the tire. We girls of course waited outside until it was fix, while waiting I watched the people whose rushing to work and students walking to school then I thought that I stayed there until I graduated I'll be doing the same with those students but I never thought of working in the Phil's, I still prefer to work abroad like Singapore or Further West.(Ambitious much?) Anyway,back to waiting I was talking to my aunt about my studies and asked where do I plan to go for college ,OF COURSE the answer was Brunei.
Back to the journey, me and my bro hasn't taken any nap from the travel, we reached our place at 7am.I was feeling quite energetic and ate breakfast also played with Gringo-my cutie dog.My mum went straight to rest since she felt so tired although she took a nap the whole flight.~ Me and my bro slept at the same time around 10am until lunch time coz we were woken up to eat lunch. We both still have jet lags and felt really exhausted during the afternoon yet unable to sleep. By the night after dinner I went straight to sleep that was 8pm AND IT WAS A RECORD.  The most earliest time i ever slept.